God is good. That's what I always tell people every time they congratulate me.
My 4 years in the Ateneo have been one heck of a roller coaster ride. There were momentary ups, inevitable downs, and twisted loops that will make you want to scream your throat out. There were even times when you'd feel sick because you can no longer stand it. In this ride, regret lingers at every corner that you'll wish for nothing but for everything to be over. But now that this ride is about to descend and take a full stop, all I can do is look back at the journey that has given me an experience that I will never forget. Seeing what I've been through definitely calls for a pat on the back because who would've thought I'd survive all that?
Well, God did. God was with me amidst the bliss, despondency, and erratic moments throughout this ride. True enough, I wouldn't have survived college without His grace. He was the safety bar that kept me in place. He was the gravity that pulled me down every time I felt like I was about to fly or flip over to the side. He was my companion who watched me scream but kept me safe. And all I had to do was hold on to Him and trust Him with all my heart - even if it felt like it was not where it's supposed to be because of the sudden twists and turns.
While most people think senior year was relatively easy compared with the first three, the complete opposite was true for me. As soon as I found out that I was a few points away from being Cum Laude, I decided not to waste time; I had to put my best foot forward. I was so intent into meeting my desired QPI that I couldn't afford to give in to senioritis. After spending sleepless nights writing, memorizing, and reading, God rewarded me with a quatro sem! I can now finally tick one entry off my bucket list. However, despite this, my cumulative QPI was still .005 short from reaching Cum Laude. Although I knew that it will be pointless to fight for it because the Standards Committee would look for tangible proof, I still tried to talk to my teachers in the first semester. As expected, no one agreed to change the grade especially because another semester has already passed. Even if it didn't go the way I wanted it to be, I still felt like a winner because I am consoled by the fact that I was able to do something. At least I no longer have to waste time wondering what could have happened if I fought for it. Just like what one speaker from our Pabaon said, "Ateneans fight for battles that need to be fought, not just the fights that they can win." Besides, I'd rather live a life of oh well's than a life of what if's.
Aside from my race to grabbing a Latin Honor, I was also pressured to get a decent job before I graduate. After applying and doing a series of interviews, I finally bagged a position from this particular FMCG company. Unfortunately, they only gave me a week to respond to their offer. I should be happy because I already have the job security that I have been looking for, BUT it didn't feel right. It felt like I will not be able to weight my options wisely if I will consider this job offer alone. I wanted to wait for other opportunities; I was determined not to close my door yet. And so, although it was hard for me, I decided to decline the job. I was on the verge of regretting what I did but again, God didn't let me be. He gave me that pang of hope that made me feel like something big is about to come. True enough, the day after declining the offer, this certain company that I have been eyeing for called and told me that I got the Management Trainee Position!
It felt so surreal. It was like a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. I was so happy that tears streamed down my face. Unlike the first offer, this call felt so right that I was willing to sign the contract right then and there if it was presented to me. Again, another prayer was answered. I got my dream job days before my graduation. I think this is the best graduation gift anyone can every have!
College was tough but God is tougher. He is bigger than all my fears combined. I wouldn't have survived my 4 years in college if He did not give me a family who supported everything that I did; friends who kept me sane; roommates who shared every waking moment with me; block mates who studied and reviewed with me; and most importantly, Tim, my boyfriend, who never failed to show his love, support, and admiration. He was the missing puzzle piece that I never thought I had.
I will not be where I am now without Him so tomorrow, as I go up that stage, I would firmly shake Fr. Jett's hand and give a dignified bow to the Savior who had my back all throughout this crazy ride.
This is for you, Lord.